So my girls love Pot-stickers. Chinese version of dumplings. One night after making a large plate full of them, I went to put them on the table. It was just me and both girls having dinner that night so this was our simple dinner. In addition, I had a salad for myself and plates of fruit for them. They love to have the platter in the middle so they can help themselves. I usually get them started by putting a few on each plate. I serve a few for myself then tell them they can have the rest. They love to eat their fill. Even though I tell them I can save the leftovers they want to try to eat them all and they usually do.
One night in particular, I had started to serve the plates, but only put one on Amy's plate and no one elses' when my phone rang, interrupting my process. I never went back and served any more potstickers after the call, figuring everyone could just help themselves. However that one potsticker on Amy's plate took her back to her past and I didn't even realize it at first. I called everyone to dinner, we prayed and began to eat. I noticed Anna helping herself, then I took a few for myself. I looked at Amy who had already eaten her one potsticker up in record time, but just sat there waiting. Then it wasn't just what she said, but how she said it, that reminded me of the wounds she still carries of her past.
She said, in a sad and submissive voice, "Momma, may I have another one?"
We are sitting there with a massive plate of potstickers in front of us, and I'm thinking that by now, almost 2 years home, she would know that she too can help herself.
But there is still that place in her that is not sure. She might not get her fill, she might have done something wrong, she might only get one.
And this is what really makes my heart so tender towards this sweet girl. Because she has done without, because she has not always been able to eat her fill, even though the plate sat full in front of all of us........if I would have said, No....she would not have complained.
But of course I did not say no, I loaded up her plate and told her to help herself when she wanted more. And I wish I had gotten a photo of the happy, giddy, potsticker eating, little girl that did indeed eat her fill. So much so, she showed me her "full belly" afterwards and turned down her ice cream dessert because she was so full. Well, she delayed her ice cream until much later! And nothing makes this momma more happy than my girls being able to eat their fill and knowing they will never, and I mean never......be hungry.....again!