Henderson Happenings: Six Months Home

We just had our adoption case worker out for our 6 month home study meeting. For China, there is a one month home visit, 6 month, one year, two years, three years and then five years. I think it is a good thing to follow up on these special children. We love our case worker and enjoy our time with her. She comes to our home and it feels like a comfortable visit as we answer questions and she gets updated information on Amy. It is not stressful at all. Amy talked her ear off and showed off her room and many treasures in her drawers and bins. Told her how we had to lower her bead because she fell out of it one night. Had our case worker laughing many times. Eventually sent the girls off to play wii fitness to wear them out, and talked for several hours with our case worker. She was amazed at Amy's English even though she sees this sort of adjustment often. The only negative was that Amy got worried when we were preparing for the meeting and questioned us with......."is she going to take me away"? We reassured her that this is her forever home and no one would ever take her away. We are her family.......always. Reminds us of the deep security issues that Amy still has as she loves her new family and wants to stay. She very often says, "I lovva my bigga family!" "I never want to go back to China". She does so want to believe that this is forever but it is going to take time for trust to grow into assurance. She confided in us that a man came to get her from her Nai Nai's (foster grandmother) house and took her back to the orphanage. What a difficult situation for a frightened little 6 year old girl, taken away from the only family she ever knew and then taken to an institution. She said she cried and cried and that her nai nai said she could not take care of her anymore. She told Amy that she was going to be taken off to a school (orphanage) where her momma would one day come and get her. That her momma spoke english and it was better for NuiNui (Amy's chinese nickname) to have a mamma, babba, sister and brothers. Amy told us Nai Nai showed her the picture album we sent her, and went over who we all were. Amy said her Nai Nai told her this was better because she would have a momma forever. Amy has also told us her YeYe (foster grandfather) was not very nice.....at all. In fact, we are very disappointed in her care overall in her foster home......not surprised.....but disappointed. Now that Amy can communicate very well, she is telling us details that confirm our suspicions from early on. She was treated as "less than" in her foster family. Evidently they kept a little boy as well. His name was BinBin, and it seems he was treated a bit better than Amy. I'm thinking that is all I will say, as it is Amy's story to tell...not mine. I will though, record some quotes from Amy herself. I want to put them down so she will have them.

" Thank you, momma for being a nice momma. You don't hit. You be nice to Amy."

"You do not spill things on me like BinBin and YeYe. I say to YeYe, Why you do that?!"

"Thank you momma for giving me food to eat and not making me to be hungry where my tummy hurts. You do not say, No food for Amy. No, you don't say that."

"Thank you momma for letting me get more clothes on if I want, and not be cold. I do not like to be cold, I was so cold in China."

" I stay here with you momma, with my big family. Amy no go back to China."

"You hold me momma, and give me bandaids when I fall down. You take good care of Amy."

"Daddy is a good daddy, a strong daddy, he keep Amy safe."

" Amy not happy in China, Amy happy now."

"Thank you, Momma because you are a soft momma, a good momma. Amy so happy she has a momma forever."

Amy continues to adjust and settle in, making great progress. It is such a wonderful thing to see the changes in her, what a difference the love of a true family can make.

Physical changes: She has put on a couple of pounds. Grown out of some clothes and shoes. Her hair has gotten softer and shinier. Her skin softer and clearer. Her eyes shine and do not look sad.

Emotionally: She is happier. She can use her words to tell us how she feels instead of lashing out. She is calming down, and not so charged up all the time. She will cry more easily which is a good thing.....was so hard for her to let her guard down before. She still fights it, tries to be brave and tough but will let it go when I encourage her. Her heart is turning so tender towards us all. Love growing. She thinks of us and wants good things for her family. She will tell whoever may be leaving, "Have a good day..... be happy safe!"
Her hugs are real as she just melts into my arms sometimes. Before she could be rigid, as if she did not know how to hug.

Spiritually: She is learning about Jesus. She can tell you three Bible stories. Jesus calming the storm, Poor Bartemaus whose eyes were sick, and Zacheus who climbed up a tree to see Jesus. We have prayed her through some sickness, fear, and adjustment issues.
Now.......She prays. And let me tell you, this girl can pray. If you are hungry, don't ask Amy to pray before dinner! One day I was having a terrible bout of contact dermatitis on my hands and feet. They would burn and I would have to put ice on them. Amy, seeing my distress asked me if she could pray for me. Pray she did and within a few minutes the itch/burning stopped. Oh how heaven must have paused to hear this little one pray with the faith that only comes from a little child.

She prays with a heart truly full of thanksgiving....for so many things we wouldn't think to mention.

Psalm 92:1-2

It is good to give thanks to the Lord and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; to declare Your loving kindness in the morning, and Your faithfulness every night.