Shushing and Sas

This may be funny to you, and one day it will be funny to me.
As Amy speaks fluent Chinese, her way of learning English is to mimic.  That is well and good.
Unless you are the momma and a certain little missy shushes me back when I shush her.  She has also told me to "Be Nice, Be quiet, and Stop"!  Sometimes it is all innocent.  But I have also been a momma long enough to recognize....SAS.....when I hear it.  Even in Chinese.  SAS is a universal language you know. You can tell by the tone and the body language.  So we are plugging along.  It is complicated.  Explaining that I can indeed shush her at appropriate times but that she can NOT SHUSH ME. That just because I am telling her to do something she may not want to do..... it does not have any thing to do with me not being NICE.  And lastly, the more she and I go round and round about who should be quiet......it is actually NOT QUIET AT ALL.
Especially in the places we should be quiet.  Like the library, doctors office and dentist office.
Sweet Anna at times would like to make herself invisible.  She has grown up so much.  Her comment is often...."this is embarrassing."  The sister issues are another post altogether.  I will share about that soon.  Suffice it to say, some days are diamonds and some days are coal.
Amy also mimics my "no, no" finger wag.  And she is quite the pro. Shakes her head no at the same time.  Something tells me that some time ago, in a land far away, an elderly foster grandmother did some no, no finger wagging to this girl of mine.
 We will get there.  Making tremendous progress.
I can't leave out the good things she says back to me.  Like, "Mommia, I so proud of you, Good Job,  I lovva you, and Good Girla"!
 However as I keep it real here,  let me tell you, parenting a child that speaks another language is more than a challenge.  It can be frustrating, exhausting, and leave you feeling as if you made some mistakes along the way. I have made mistakes along the way.
How difficult this has to be for our precious Amy.
This is.......  keeping me before the Lord.  I need Him.  He shows up in just the right way.....at just the right time. He knows me.   He knows her.   I know that He has the best of plans for us. The Bible tells me so...........and that encourages me.
 After adopting Anna there were many tears of emotion as this is no doubt an emotional journey.
For this journey, I have not cried yet. Not even while we were in China.  Oh, I have had my moments of tears welling and lumps in my throat.  Not a real cry though. And I can be a pretty good cryer.
I really had to fight it the night  in China when Scott was so sick that he mentioned possibly going to a hospital. Off and on through the very late night, I lay in bed and I actually kept my arm over my eyes to keep the tears away.   Praying, please heal Scott and help me be strong Lord. This is not a good time!   Understanding that to let the flood gates open would allow the tears of the journey  to flow unchecked.  For all that was, all that is and all that will be in the future.

 The emotions are here.  This is hard to explain but it is a testament to the power and goodness of God.  He has so STILLED my heart.  And that is no small feat for a worrisome heart like mine.  There is a calmness, an evenness if you will,  that He sends when I am on the verge.
The one night I went for a walk, planning a big ugly cry at sundown and loading my pockets with tissues......neighbors stopped me to ask about Amy and Anna. Thinking as not to scare them with a possible bawl out,  I had to suck it up and gave them an update. Afterwards, I decided to enjoy my walk and did not want to spend the energy on crying.....spent it on walking faster.  Walking and talking with Jesus is so healing for me.  I know He would not mind at all if I cried.....it's just that He, for now is taking away the need to cry.  He is filling in the gaps, helping me sleep on those nights that could often leave me fretting, giving me more patience than I had before, enough energy to face the whole long day, and giving us new mercies every morning.
Doing what He does.......making the crooked straight, and the rough places plain.

When I look back at where we have been.  Where She........has been.
I can see God at work.
In Her.
In Me.
In each member of our family.
And even though we may have a ways to go, He is with us.
He is all over us.

"When He has brought out all His own, He goes on ahead of them, and His sheep follow Him because they know His voice."  John 10:4

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."   Isaiah 41:13

Don't let the princess gown fool you.  This is one of her "I mean business" stances.  That is alright.  I have my own "I mean business" stance.  Thankfully I don't think there is a photo of mine.  It is not nearly as cute as hers!